A Tale of Two Seagulls.

I think this lengthy reply to a comment deserves its own post.


Submitted On
Select comment Tar Baby
@vikinglifeblog The absolute worst assholes that my shift, in general, and myself, in particular, had to deal with, on a continuing basis, was a white-trash couple who came in every fucking night, for about three months, and “seagulled” the whole casino. Seagulling is looking for money on the floor and in slot trays. These two cunts (one was a male) were so brazen, they would crawl under a 21 table, while people were sitting there, playing Blackjack, looking for chips. We’d thrown the assholes out dozens of times, but they’d be back the next day. One night, I came close to beating the motherfucking male to death, and we never saw them again.

I was standing just inside the far northern end of Pit 5, when I saw another security officer pulling a large metal cart, on wheels, past the pit. It was full of empty drop-boxes, which are exchanged for the ones on the tables, that are full of money. The cart is about 6 feet tall, 10 feet long and, most important at that point in time, 4 feet wide (deep). The distance between the customers, sitting at the tables, and the outer walls of two restrooms, behind them, was only 6 feet, leaving just a foot on each side, for clearance. I saw the scrungy-looking mo-fo, on the far side of the cart, pushing the cart towards the pit. He was walking along, trying to push the cart into the people who were sitting there gambling. The SO pulling the cart didn’t know the asshole was pushing it to the side. I left the pit and prepared to have some words with the SOB. I walked behind the cart, as it was moving. The fuck was giving it one last push, with his hand at face level, when the clumsy motherfucker’s hand slipped off the back of the moving cart, and slapped me in the face. I closed my eyes when I saw his hand coming, but his fingers pushed against my closed eye-lids and pushed both of my old-style hard contact lenses up on top of my eyeballs. I went fucking nuts. The asshole could have ripped both of my fucking corneas out of my head. I grabbed the front of his clothes, with one hand, and slammed his ass into the sharp edge of a steel door frame, going nose-to-nose with him. He kept repeating, over and over, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” while I stared him in the face and screamed, “You fucking asshole,” at him.  I knew that, if I started kicking his ass, which I had every right to do, I probably wouldn’t stop until I had killed him. Finally, I said, “Get the fuck out of here,” and he ran to the nearest exit, and I never saw him or his skanky girlfriend ever again.


1 thought on “A Tale of Two Seagulls.

  1. I had no clue that there where so much action in a cassino. I heard about very advanced cheaters messing with the machines or counting cards. But it seems that most incidents that happened, was just idiots acting out.

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